As someone with significant concerns over screens, I found this article super helpful. I think this pushes the conversation in the right direction. What I think is most helpful is your concern over tech-based segregation: Christian families separating from other Christian families who don't hold their same standards on screens. That strikes me as hugely significant. Thank you for reminding us to be careful on where we draw communal lines.
Also, 2005 - when most of our screens were disconnected from the Wild West of the internet - was the bomb, yo.
I always have an extremely hard time with people who flatten say, an hour of low-stimulation, narrative-driven shows or movies, perhaps watched alongside ones' siblings with..... an hour on a personal device with access to the internet. Always think we should define the terms and risks we're talking about when we're talking about "screens."
Yep! Our approach to video games has been that they have to be multi-player on the same system, not over the internet w/ strangers. Mario Kart, not Fortnite.
After this review, I will probably cancel my library hold on her book. Thanks.
I think you know that I teach seminars on technology and kids for homeschool parents. The arguments she's making were made by Neil Postman decades ago. It's not that they're false; they're just dated. Technology has moved on. Even Marshall McLuhan would recognize the difference in "medium" between broadcast TV and Facebook.
In my seminars, I focus entirely on Internet safety.
You're trying to know about and limit the content on the screen, not access to the screen. #1 rule: "No Internet connected devices in private places."
Clare's advice may even be harmful. Let's say you deny most screens to your kids while retaining them for yourself (you're a responsible adult after all.) When they become adults, they may be even MORE susceptible to scams, doomscrolling, dopamine hits, etc... because you didn't help them be aware of those problems when you could. (I'm aware of no studies testing this hypothesis.)
Seeking a community of like-minded parents is great advice -- that's what home education coops are. But trying to completely separate your kids from current technology is a losing proposition unless you're entire community (incl the adults) is willing to do the same. The Amish will do that; most of us won't.
In my family, my husband and I both have switched to dumb phones, and we teach our kids that smartphones are designed to addict people, and that we are choosing a different path. Our kids see it everywhere, and they are learning to value with their father and I value. I think we actually DO need to turn back the clock a little in the home. Of course, we are not naive. We know our kids will eventually be free to purchase and use smartphones. But our hope is that a childhood unfettered from pervasive technology (particularly on phones and tablets) will give them an experience they will want to return to when the phones they'll inevitably buy, inevitably take over their lives, like they've done for all of us.
"You're trying to know about and limit the content on the screen, not access to the screen. #1 rule: "No Internet connected devices in private places." Yes! This is why we built LivingRoom for iOS. It makes mobile devices as visible to parents as if they were being used in the living room. These internet-connected devices carry serious pitfalls of social media and porn; but when used "in the light" of filtering and accountability, these devices can give benefits without the harm. Benefits like GPS, notes, calendar, email, parking, substack, phone calls, etc, etc.
I don't dislike software solutions like what you're talking about, Chris, but the solution is practical not technical. Even most adults really don't need a pipe to all the word's information (incl every dark alley) in their pocket 24x7. For teens, the benefits you cite are VASTLY outweighed by the risks.
My recommendation is based on Jon Haidt's but goes further. Absolutely no smartphone until driving, and if you give one then:
1) Limited data plan. <250MB/mo (RedPocket or US Wireless are good)
2) Rigid filtering and logging software (Qustodio is good)
The first one takes care of the "unlimited pipe to all the world's knowledge" problem, since the pipe is now very small. It's hard to get into porn trouble when you've only got about 15 minutes of video per month (250MB).
However, public WiFi nodes (which are everywhere) can still provide unlimited pipes, which is why #2 is so important.
The third thing I recommend is that the smartphone is checked in with Mom at a certain time each night and not returned until morning. The combination of darkness, solitude, and Internet is uniquely bad.
BTW: These recommendations aren't just for kids. I carry a limited data plan myself. As a side benefit, they're cheap. My phone (RedPocket) is $30/yr.
I want to take more time to take in your article and do plan to read your book. Just this weekend I was talking with a few friends about tech and our children. They were approaching it more from Jonathan Haidt's contribution but this is an important conversation. Just responding now before I have my full thoughts gathered, since it's both a place marker for myself, and an acknowledgement that I appreciate your research and time you put into this!
I agree with your takeaways! I found her picture of the “tech exit” family very much sounded like the families I grew up around, as a millennial I was hoping for a bit more from this book. So far my top recommendations on this topic are Digital Devices, Three Pieces of Glass, and Are We All Cyborgs Now.
As someone with significant concerns over screens, I found this article super helpful. I think this pushes the conversation in the right direction. What I think is most helpful is your concern over tech-based segregation: Christian families separating from other Christian families who don't hold their same standards on screens. That strikes me as hugely significant. Thank you for reminding us to be careful on where we draw communal lines.
Also, 2005 - when most of our screens were disconnected from the Wild West of the internet - was the bomb, yo.
Excellent.
I always have an extremely hard time with people who flatten say, an hour of low-stimulation, narrative-driven shows or movies, perhaps watched alongside ones' siblings with..... an hour on a personal device with access to the internet. Always think we should define the terms and risks we're talking about when we're talking about "screens."
So, thanks for this.
Yep! Our approach to video games has been that they have to be multi-player on the same system, not over the internet w/ strangers. Mario Kart, not Fortnite.
After this review, I will probably cancel my library hold on her book. Thanks.
I think you know that I teach seminars on technology and kids for homeschool parents. The arguments she's making were made by Neil Postman decades ago. It's not that they're false; they're just dated. Technology has moved on. Even Marshall McLuhan would recognize the difference in "medium" between broadcast TV and Facebook.
In my seminars, I focus entirely on Internet safety.
https://teensandtech.substack.com/p/low-hanging-fruit-of-internet-safety
You're trying to know about and limit the content on the screen, not access to the screen. #1 rule: "No Internet connected devices in private places."
Clare's advice may even be harmful. Let's say you deny most screens to your kids while retaining them for yourself (you're a responsible adult after all.) When they become adults, they may be even MORE susceptible to scams, doomscrolling, dopamine hits, etc... because you didn't help them be aware of those problems when you could. (I'm aware of no studies testing this hypothesis.)
Seeking a community of like-minded parents is great advice -- that's what home education coops are. But trying to completely separate your kids from current technology is a losing proposition unless you're entire community (incl the adults) is willing to do the same. The Amish will do that; most of us won't.
In my family, my husband and I both have switched to dumb phones, and we teach our kids that smartphones are designed to addict people, and that we are choosing a different path. Our kids see it everywhere, and they are learning to value with their father and I value. I think we actually DO need to turn back the clock a little in the home. Of course, we are not naive. We know our kids will eventually be free to purchase and use smartphones. But our hope is that a childhood unfettered from pervasive technology (particularly on phones and tablets) will give them an experience they will want to return to when the phones they'll inevitably buy, inevitably take over their lives, like they've done for all of us.
I applaud you. We largely did the same. However, you and I are a severe minority.
"You're trying to know about and limit the content on the screen, not access to the screen. #1 rule: "No Internet connected devices in private places." Yes! This is why we built LivingRoom for iOS. It makes mobile devices as visible to parents as if they were being used in the living room. These internet-connected devices carry serious pitfalls of social media and porn; but when used "in the light" of filtering and accountability, these devices can give benefits without the harm. Benefits like GPS, notes, calendar, email, parking, substack, phone calls, etc, etc.
I don't dislike software solutions like what you're talking about, Chris, but the solution is practical not technical. Even most adults really don't need a pipe to all the word's information (incl every dark alley) in their pocket 24x7. For teens, the benefits you cite are VASTLY outweighed by the risks.
My recommendation is based on Jon Haidt's but goes further. Absolutely no smartphone until driving, and if you give one then:
1) Limited data plan. <250MB/mo (RedPocket or US Wireless are good)
2) Rigid filtering and logging software (Qustodio is good)
The first one takes care of the "unlimited pipe to all the world's knowledge" problem, since the pipe is now very small. It's hard to get into porn trouble when you've only got about 15 minutes of video per month (250MB).
However, public WiFi nodes (which are everywhere) can still provide unlimited pipes, which is why #2 is so important.
The third thing I recommend is that the smartphone is checked in with Mom at a certain time each night and not returned until morning. The combination of darkness, solitude, and Internet is uniquely bad.
BTW: These recommendations aren't just for kids. I carry a limited data plan myself. As a side benefit, they're cheap. My phone (RedPocket) is $30/yr.
I want to take more time to take in your article and do plan to read your book. Just this weekend I was talking with a few friends about tech and our children. They were approaching it more from Jonathan Haidt's contribution but this is an important conversation. Just responding now before I have my full thoughts gathered, since it's both a place marker for myself, and an acknowledgement that I appreciate your research and time you put into this!
Amazing.
I agree with your takeaways! I found her picture of the “tech exit” family very much sounded like the families I grew up around, as a millennial I was hoping for a bit more from this book. So far my top recommendations on this topic are Digital Devices, Three Pieces of Glass, and Are We All Cyborgs Now.
Brilliant!
Good stuff man. What are the books you referenced by Byung-Chul Han and Justin Smith out of curiosity?